That doesn't mean.....

I was going through instagram, which I rarely do anymore.

And I saw a post from my ex. Sheryl. I am on good terms with all of my exes except for 3. Even then I'll probably hear them out. She posted a picture of a plate of chipotle on top of her laptop with netflix up in the background. The caption was saying how she loves her bf for bringing her chipotle. She's been with this guy for long while, years. And I am genuinely happy for her. She found someone she obviously cares about, seems to be in a healthy relationship and she seems like an all around better person.

Sheryl and I happened years and years ago. She's probably the only person that know my really dark side. The side that wants to give up. She's been with me through some really bad insomniac nights - days. I've been with her through her dark days and nights. Despite those things, the bad things there were still so many good things.

In that moment I just thought of how I miss her, talking to her late late nights. Her being the first person to send me a message every morning. I really miss her voice, how she used to sing to me. She has a true gift. The little things she used to do. And missing her, missing those things about her doesn't mean I want her back or would even consider it. But it's nice to think when your in a relationship - was- with someone that it is because you did genuinely care for them and had an interest in them, no matter how things turned out. It's sort of a comforting feeling actually. I'm glad I can still think about her and think good things.

It's amazing how many things you miss when you're in it.

She should  have been one of the ones I fell madly for.

Even saying that - realizing that, doesn't mean i'd want to be any different between us now.

It's just comfort.
Just because the stars still shine, doesn't mean I can't miss looking at them with you



Does anyone on here know how to cook?

I've been doing meal preps and need some recipes. Things that are a little more towards the lean side is what i'm looking for.
But open to anything :)

To the photographers out there

I need some of the photographers on here to chime in.

I've been wanting DSLR forever. I am one of those people that will search and look for every detail. But I really don't want to buy a camera based of someones comments. Especially a DSLR, I consider it to be an investment.

I am leaning towards Canon (open to Nikon). Truth is I don't really know what to look for in a DSLR when it comes down to all the technical bits.
So what should I be looking for?

I'm pretty sure I want manual.(telephoto in camera world?)
I want something that is good in low light.
Quick shutter speed
Something that is good with action shots (like for my kickboxing classes)
I mostly plan on taking pictures of people but some landscape etc too.
It will be my first but I do pick up on things quickly.
Something that will last for a few years till I decide to upgrade to a ridiculously priced camera
* Also, there is this one picture i've been wanting to take for years. This one area by my house that looks so beautiful when it's foggy out *
I know fog is hard to capture, but if there is a camera that can do that let me know lol

So help, what do I need to be looking for when shopping for a camera?


  I always see people looking for new lj friends. Post how they had a journal but deleted it and started a new one. Why would people choose to delete their old journals? I had a livejournal years ago but I can't remember any of the log in information. I would love to read how absolutely ridiculous I sounded then, and thinking about the people that were in my life then, I wonder what I wrote about them, If I wrote about them. I mean most of us probably know more about each other then people in our daily lives, why would you just want to erase all of that? I mean I'm sure even as much as we know about each other, there are things that we choose not to write about. Or maybe we do but leave the entries private?

Ok now for the random part I've decided to have my first poll

Poll #1899488 Do you?

Do you have private journal entries?


Would you ever delete your journal?

Hell No

Anything you choose not to write about?

This is MY journal. I write about whatever I want to
Yes, just don't want to. Simple
  • Current Mood: awake awake


Too many people nowadays come along make you care about them then check out. And that single reason is why there are so many can't let go issues. I don't want to get to know someone else issues.I don't want to like you issues. I don't want to love you issues. Maybe if i avoid you my feelings it will go away issues. I don't trust you issues. I don't give a fuck issues. Too many damn issues to try and build a relationship issues
  • Current Mood: blah blah

(no subject)

So in my attempts to avoid thinking so much and being crippled I don't have many distractions anymore.

I used to love playing the paino when I was younger but (i was no expert but i was good) and after an accident with my brother the lessons stop and it's not till recently when my mother purchased a key board that teaches you how to play and i taught myself how to play Moonlight Sonanta among another a few minor kiddie songs but the point is my love for the piano is rekindled. And i accomplished something and I've working on writing more short stories and I don't know. It's been productive trying to avoid thinking about people and certain situations.

I actually fell like writting about ths really hot time at work with one of my co-workers

hmm stay tuned..
  • Current Mood: accomplished accomplished
  • Current Music: Moonlight Sonata